i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
