I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
