Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
