You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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