Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
