Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
