so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
