doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
