More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
