People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
