I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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