I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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