i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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