What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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