I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
