a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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