her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize