wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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