Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
