TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
