i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
