Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
