ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
