i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
