the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
