He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
