We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
