i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
