my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
