So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
