Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
