i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
