i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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