he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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