you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
