the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
