i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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