I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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