Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
