3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
