Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
