I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
