Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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