i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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