so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
