Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
