How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
