If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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