I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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