We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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