this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
