so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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