So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its not stalking. its research.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
