Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
