We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
