that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
