You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
