Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I pour the whiskey from now on
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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