Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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