Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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