Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
