was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
